Ahmaud Arbery was a young black man, just two years younger than me, with a full life ahead of him. He was targeted, hunted, and killed by two white cowards that had no right to take his life all because of the color of his skin. 

As outrage erupted from the senseless and racist nature of Ahmaud’s murder, I began to think deeper about racism. At 27 years old I had more questions now than I’ve ever had on racism. Way more than when they taught me a couple of chapters on it in grade school. Way more than when I watched black people cry on tv when President Obama was elected. I was 16 years old, and even then the idea of racism didn’t perplex me that much, but now a burning question of why begin to ignite within me.

I grew up in Prince George’s County Maryland (shout out DMV, 301 Stand up! lol). P.G. is known to be one of the wealthiest majority-black counties in the nation. Basically, I was surrounded by black wealth growing up. My high school friends had Trey Songz at their 16^th birthday parties, many lived in the sought after Woodmore, and I dated a guy who came to school every day in a limo LOL. 

As a light skin black girl growing up in P.G., I don’t recall having any direct experiences with racism. Classism was present in my life more than racism was for sure. Then there was colorism, which I experienced quite often. School mates would call me Casper, or their other favorite, whitey. A cashier at Six Flags asked me “what was I,” and plenty of people have asked me which one of my parents are white. Honestly, it never bugged me and still doesn’t. I had tough skin and always had a comeback for the ignorance lol. 

I wasn’t going to tell you but what the heck I’ll let it rip. One day when I was being “bullied,” (quotations because I really didn’t feel bullied back then, but in hindsight I suppose it was bullying) they were calling me the usual light skin girl insults. This time instead of laughing with them or ignoring them I clapped back with “At least I was in the house getting tapped by the master, while you picked cotton in the field.” Yeah, I know terrible. But the shock and laughter from the group that erupted as a result of my clap back was absolutely hilarious. So I guess me and my bullies were now even. 

Back then, the only thing this told me was that I was quite the young Kevin Hart lol. But now, looking back at that situation it tells me that at a young age I had paid enough attention to what I had been learning about racism to turn around and use it as a clapback and weapon in grade school war.

But back to the point. I’m just now at 27 beginning to really examine racism on a deeper level. I think many of us are, mainly because it keeps blowing up in our faces unresolved. I wonder, why does this keep happening to black people? Why do they hate us so much? How could you just kill someone like that? All because of the color of someone’s skin? I was truly perplexed, and the level of melanin in our skin was no longer sufficient reasoning for me. It no longer made sense. It was never justified, but I had always accepted that the difference in physical appearance was the sole reasoning behind racism. 

This is when I began to pursue a deeper truth. I asked God, is this really a skin issue? Why can’t we shake this ugly problem? You see, God cares about what we care about, and I knew He cared about this. So I began to literally ask God what is this about, and why can’t we seem to fix it? I thought to myself, Ahmaud wrestled with those cowards, but was he really wrestling with them, or something else?

What God began to show me was this, racism is a spiritual fight, it is a heart issue, a pride issue, and a result of sin. God first took me to Ephesians 6:12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Stay with me and don’t make this spooky. I know it’s hard for some of us to get comfortable with how the Bible speaks sometimes, but I want you to get comfortable with Biblical language, and know that scripture is still and has always been relevant.

What do I mean when I say racism is a spiritual fight? I mean that this is more than a person not liking another person because of the tone of their skin. That’s the surface issue, but at the root, exists a spirit of hatred and evil that has run rampant for generations now. Throughout centuries the wound of racism has remained unhealed and continues to fester. I asked God again why can’t we get this right? He said because we’re not seeing it right. That’s when it hit me, we’re not fighting this right, and we’re not relying on the greatest tools God gave us to overcome evil. 

We have to also see racism as a spiritual fight and stop diminishing the spiritual aspect of it. We see God tell us this in Ephesians 6, our struggles are against spiritual forces. He didn’t just tell us this for fun, but so that we would know that when we have trouble in this world that we are also fighting against spiritual wickedness. So what does that mean? 

Time for a quick break down of sin nature and the state of the world we live in. This is important, because once you understand this it’ll help you see things we deal with in life through the right lens. We live in a fallen world, because of sin. Sin separated us from God. When Jesus died for our sins, He restored our relationship with God, and qualified us to have dominion over sin again. So now, sin and the effects of sin still exist, but as a believer, I have dominion over sin. How do I know all of this? Because “John 16:33 says “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” and Romans 6:14 says “For sin shall not have dominion over you.”

So what are you saying Kir? I’m saying that there’s this little guy named the devil, and one of his favorite things to do is to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). One of his favorite ways to do this is to divide us. The devil knows God dwells at the place of unity, and if he can just keep us divided by race, by class, by religion, by politics, etc. then he can keep his foot on our necks and we will never rise up over racism. 

So how do we fight this thing spiritually? I’m glad you asked. We use the tools God has given us to fight this thing. He’s given us a lot, but some of the things I feel are vital for this fight are prayer, operating in love, reading the Word, allowing Holy Spirit to guide you, and a heart and willingness for understanding and reconciliation. Some additional tools I see are faith (believing things will change even when it doesn’t look like it), and worship (for those days where you have just had enough). I use worship like an apple charger, and every time it gets me back to 100%. 

As believers, we have a heart and desire for reconciliation, how we turn that desire into action is what is important, and it will look different for each of us. For some it’s protesting, fighting politics, and improving the legal system, for others it may be inviting someone who doesn’t look like you to dinner, or being willing to have tough conversations with others. We all play a role in change, and all of our roles matter. 

Whatever we do, we have to remember this is also a spiritual fight. So when we go out to protest in the streets, let’s supplement that action with prayer. When we post our feelings on social media let’s pause and ask Holy Spirit will this post help us see change, or just ignite more division? If you’re white and having a hard time on where to start how about asking God to help you see the reality of this crisis and have empathy. In whatever we choose to do, let’s consider how God and the tools He’s given us can help us respond to what we are facing. 

Examining racism through a spiritual lens helped me to wrap my mind around a problem that feels like something we will never overcome. It encouraged me to continue to do everything in my power to help bring about and advocate for change, use the tools God has given me to fight against evil things, and then leave the rest up to God. Just like with anything else in my life, I trust God and know that in the end, everything will work out for our good.